What is in your control? How often do you ask yourself this question?

Maintaining a balanced viewpoint at times can be a real challenge and inevitably it happens when we most need to achieve it.

Pressures come from all sides and it is hard to know how to prioritise or tackle them. Where do we need to place our energy and focus? What can we have the most impact on to succeed and gain a sense of achievement? A feeling of being overwhelmed, having no control over circumstances or situations, can take over.

These are challenges the leaders we coach often face, which is why the In and Out of Control tool (mentioned in my last blog – “How we are building Mental Health into our developmental tools”) was created and is now a firm favourite in the LeaderLine Toolkit.

It is a simple tool based on a template that encourages leaders to look at often complex situations or challenges. It enables a leader to reflect on what is in their control – as a person, in their role, in the organisation – and correspondingly, out of their control.

All it takes is some worthwhile time to work through with honesty, insight, fairness to self – and a good dose of reality thrown in.

Understanding what is in your control suddenly leads to actions founded in the choices you know are in your control to make – where it seemed none existed before – whether about how you think, feel, act...

Taking both ‘in’ and ‘out’ into consideration can provide a realistic picture of what outcomes to work towards that are achievable. This guides, for example, where to influence and engage, the actions and decisions to take to achieve those outcomes, thereby setting yourself up for success.

This may throw up limits or blockers but at least, by understanding them, the feeling that you have some control, however difficult the situation, exists.

Even realising that you have no control is empowering. It means you can decide where not to expend valuable time, energy and effort.

A sense of control has the additional benefit of striking into the heart of a leader’s confidence to lead, self-belief and general health and  wellbeing as it lessens the stress that comes with overwhelm. Feeling that one has some control in every situation is important even if it comes with certain constraints.

Take driving a car. We are in control of how we drive, but not of how others do. This means that we have to adjust sometimes to others on the road. It does not mean, however, for example that you can’t be the courteous, thoughtful driver you are just because others aren’t – putting up your hand to say thank you or let someone into the traffic – this is in your control. That is about attitudes and behaviours. Then there are the bigger things – like roadworks which cause delays. These can’t be avoided but you may be able to listen to a podcast while you wait, or phone and warn people you are running late.

So next time you feel you are powerless, have no control over what is happening to you or around you, stop and reflect, and carefully work through the different parameters of the situation to see what elements are in your control and over which you have a choice so that you don’t feel stuck or stressed.

And remember, this is not a tool that you just apply to work,but is one you can use in every aspect of your life. 

If you wish to have access to more such toolkits and understand how LeaderLine shapes the dynamics of many leaders and their teams, register yourself for coaching or mentoring at Let's get started | TheActivationProject